she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
