I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
