she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
