So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
