Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
