Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
