If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
