Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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