I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
