Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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