He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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