I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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