marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
