Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize