I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Randomize
