if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
