what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
