I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Its about making memories worth repressing
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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