playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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