She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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