So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
