so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
