I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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