therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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