dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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