is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
