As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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