i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize