So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can I color on your dick again?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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