I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
