there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
