Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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