Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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