Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
