HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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