maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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