I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
