And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I believe in your delicious
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
