I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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