i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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