so explain again why im purple
no
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize