I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
