I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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