sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize