just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
