You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We left the knife in your bed.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
