We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
