Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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