every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
