mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
babies were throwing up all over the place
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
wow bdsm is so cute
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
