my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize