Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
