im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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