Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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