it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
