At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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