i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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