flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Oh god it's open bar.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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