So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
