She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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